Ha ha!

Hello to my mom and the four other people who read this blog. It's been awhile, hasn't it? Welcome back!

Ah, yes, here I am, now 28, single, starting over in nearly every way, and I'm exploding with things to write, which is wonderful, because for awhile I was worried the well of my creativity was too grossly dry to produce. You could see dust forming around plant skeletons; it was getting pretty bad.

It has recently reoccurred to me that James Baird, my favorite professor who retired from UNT not too long ago at the ripe age of however old Bob Dylan is, was on to something when he said, "the best art, writing, and music always happens when everything sucks". Although everything sucking is not where I would say I'm at, I am at the bottom of a hill and can't see what's ahead of me, which, a horribly pessimistic person could viably argue, is not necessarily a fun place to be. However, it is an extremely important and exciting juncture, like the awkward/tense time before the start of a race, and I am grateful fate is more providentially designed than I understand.

In saying this, I just moved to Austin but at this moment am in Denton grabbing my last little load of things from my storage unit. My feet feel heavy and my heart feels restless. I start work in slightly over a week, so I'll have a handful of days to get settled into my new abode and fix things the way I like. I moved into a house with two roommates I found on Craigslist, something I've never done before. One is a fashion design student at UT and the other is an architect. The house itself has a swing on the front porch, a garden that's nearly dead near said porch, a little dog with a heart of gold owned by the fashion student, a glorious kitchen, and lots of natural sunlight for me to soak in. It's also only ten minutes from work without necessity of highway, which at this point I can't even imagine, because I've always had a marginally harrowing commute. Regardless of the harmonious living situation, however, thus far I have such mixed feelings about Austin. Sometimes it seems overwhelmingly amazing and sometimes I already want to run away, and it's only been a few weeks since I arrived! The feeling of wanting to run away will probably always lurk somewhere in my heart if I'm ever in a city of any culture, because I start getting intimidated by the herds of cool kids trolling around expecting me to say clever things or look like a creative person. I don't enjoy proving myself, but I'm beginning to arrive at the point of my life in which I'm secure in confirming I don't have to prove anything to anyone if I am genuine. I don't need to fit in a genre or be seen at certain places or have x, y, and z interests. People will or will not like me, and that's alright. It's just a matter of getting involved in things I care about, is what I'm thinking and people are telling me. So, we'll see.

I'm glad I feel like writing again. That's a start. Stay tuned.